Are you in an exclusivity trap?

Ohhh no, not again… This is the common scenario I see so frequently with women before they have tapped into The Manfunnel Method of dating. They get a laser focus on him before the right time and welcome in a world of pain…

You were speaking every night and hanging out multiple times a week. He was so excited about you and it felt so good. You finally found a guy after months of swiping! Then BOOM. He tells you it’s not going to work. He’s been dating another woman and he wants to explore it. Ouch. Or he just starts to fade away without explanation…

For this reason and many more, I suggest you keep your Manfunnel for as close to three months as possible, a time-period called, “the exploratory phase” of the relationship.

A Manfunnel is a group of men you are exploring as options for a long term and/or serious relationship. Let’s talk about your exclusivity checklist and why you need to keep that Manfunnel as long as you can.

Here are the reasons I want you to hold onto your Manfunnel:

1. You don’t know a person’s intention until after you’ve dated for about 90 days. It’s important to see if his words match his actions. He can say anything he wants, but you need to watch his actions before deciding to put all your eggs in one basket. On the flip side, although a man can tell you he doesn’t want a relationship, if his actions are consistent and he keeps showing up for you, he might just be “The One”.

A special woman in my life got married last week. Not even a year ago, the man was saying he did not want a relationship with my friend, as he had a girlfriend. However, I read the texts and could tell there was something there to work with. I worked with her on showing up around him in her most magnetic energy. She absorbed every word and followed the guidelines… Things completely turned around, and they were married within the year!

P.S. This is a man who said he would never marry again! She made it clear that she wanted marriage, and so would have to hold onto her Manfunnel, in order to find someone who wanted what she wants. The plan worked quickly! This couple is in their 60s and 70s by the way. The Manfunnel is ageless!

2. Your sanity. Okay, here’s a big one. When we abandon our Manfunnel, since we are expecting to get our needs met by only one person, he’d better be meeting those needs before you become exclusive. It’s smart to define what your needs are, previous to cutting the options loose. Then make sure those needs are being met before jumping in exclusively. If your needs are not being met, then what is the point of the relationship? It’s better to go at it alone!

The mistake I see women make is to get into exclusivity and then hope that the needs will be met. The conflict is that in the early days I want your relationship to be lighthearted with low expectations. Your Manfunnel keeps your energy and focus on options, which automatically keeps your energy feeling light to him. He can tell when your energy has shifted solely onto him.

Sometimes, when we are in an exclusive relationship too soon, we feel anxious. We keep a watchful eye on the phone. The feeling in our stomach goes from butterflies to tight and heavy and back again. The relationship can go from fun and exciting to a sitting a waiting period where you’re wondering where he is and what he is thinking about the relationship. I prefer this to all be worked out in advance of exclusivity…

3. You cannot go backward. It’s always easier to go slowly than to get into the exclusivity too quickly and then realize things are not exactly as you were hoping. When this happens, I coach women on how to free themselves from the exclusivity, while keeping the relationship. This is not without risk, however. Take things slowly and being sure that this one is worth the risk of becoming his “girlfriend.”

When you become a girlfriend, he gets the benefits and you do not. He gets emotional support, sex, and the confidence of not having to worry about the competition…

He’s got you in a safe holding pattern, whereby he can be lazy and not make a permanent commitment in any hurry. If you want the formal commitment, getting into a girlfriend/boyfriend scenario might be a trap. There are ways to enter a relationship with clear expectations. We go over this in The Manfunnel Method Live Experience.

4. The science. You can create a sturdier relationship that stands the test of time if you are choosing a mate with a clear head. Your brain functions entirely differently; it overlooks red flags when you’re falling in Love. This is one of the main reasons I want you to choose your man by exploring options before your brain is “on love”.

In The Manfunnel Method Course, you’ll hear from Dawn Maslar, The Love Biologist, on how your brain falls in love and what to do to create your most long-lasting, loving relationship without getting your heart broken. She will explain the science behind the Manfunnel Model of dating.

Based on science, love at first sight does not exist, only lust. Dawn says if you jump into a relationship, your brain can wake up two years later and discover that the person you married has many qualities that don’t suit you.

5. Approval. When you stop seeing other men, he gets the stamp of approval without having to work for it anymore. Think of the teenager who worked for years to save up for his dream car. They had to put in long hours of work when their friends were hanging out, going to parties or playing sports. Now think of the teenager who is simply handed the keys to a great car by their parents when they turn 16. Which one will value their car more? Which one will take care of it best? Which one will spend time to cherish it?

One major lesson I learned while dating many men when I lived in NYC is, the more I valued myself and my time, the more men would value me. Let him work for your attention and court you properly. It doesn’t matter if you out-earn him. He actually wants to do this work, and put in this effort, for his woman. He will remember these days with pleasure for the rest of your life together.

6. Patterns. Take a moment to think about your previous relationships. Did you see some red flags in the beginning which were the reason the relationship ultimately ended? If you had taken more time on the front end to explore the person, would you two have gone deeper into the relationship? Were there miscommunications or value clashes, which could have been prevented had you really taken your time to explore this person?

If you had taken the time to deeply understand your needs like your relationship values, your top ten qualities and your non-negotiables through a self-exploration process, would you have chosen your last relationship as a partner during that time period?

Now is the time to look at the patterns in your life and in your relationships and make a difference. If we function in the same way we will likely get similar results. If we try something new, different or improved, we will likely get a different result. Therefore, the final reason I want you to keep your Manfunnel is if your relationship history can use some improvement.

If you want to learn how to manage your Manfunnel with grace, gain the skills to keep your man feeling the urgency to claim you forever and to aim to please you for the rest of his life, join us in The Manfunnel Vault.

Give yourself the gift of having the skills which 99.9 percent of other women will never have.

If you are ready to take the next step in your love life and meet the one quickly, allow us to guide you through supportive coaching. Email us at support@themanunnel.com to get started. Join us in The Manfunnel Vault for an incredible group experience with on-demand dating support found nowhere else!

We have the most incredible group of high caliber women who will walk this journey toward meeting and or keeping their high caliber man this year!

Love,

Megan