Dating and maintaining a loving relationship involves mindset. The difference between someone who has successful relationships and can attract love on repeat starts with the beliefs we hold to be true. The problem is, a lot of the beliefs we hold onto are completely untrue. So let me tell you the surprising way I ended my settling streak and started dating men I was super attracted to instead.
Let’s help one another by sharing a belief that was holding you back at some point that you were able to overcome in your life. Share a belief which was not serving you, that you do not allow to enter your mental space anymore. You can also list a belief that you know, or think may be holding you back in your life.
I’ll go first:
I used to believe that I could only get 80 percent of what I wanted in a man. I thought it was too good to be true to receive everything you want in a man. I felt that in a difficult dating market, like New York City, there was too much competition and that the great men would be taken by other more attractive or interesting women.
Therefore, I’d always be with a man who was just 80 percent of what I truly wanted. There was always something pretty major lacking in the relationship. I call it my “settling streak”.
The good news is that one day I decided that 80 percent wasn’t worth my time anymore.
I was fed up with feeling just ok about my boyfriend. I didn’t have enough feelings to keep him around so then I’d go ahead and trade him in for another 80 percent man. This happened over a few years with a series of men I was settling on.
(BTW I did this for so long because I was previously unable to keep great men and having these boyfriends was a big improvement for me. I was starting to do the inner work and starting to be able to maintain relationships. I was on the right track but feeling super dissatisfied in my relationships)
I remember the time I made the decision to end the settling streak. There was complete and utter fear in my heart because I wasn’t sure if I was good enough to go out and get what I was setting my mind to.
I had real fears that there were actually not going to be further options out there for me, but I had decided I’d rather go at it alone than settle again. However, I received a surprise. The universe met me and showed me higher quality men. It felt magical at the time. I was not trained in mindset work or coaching. It was something that happened naturally out of my frustration with unsatisfactory relationships.
It was very shortly after that I attracted my one.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”