Have you been in a new relationship where the man is extremely excited about you in the beginning and then his enthusiasm starts to plateau or even go downhill?
Why is it that a seemingly adoring man who speaks about the future with you can simply turn around a change his mind so quickly?
When this happens it can be confusing; even gut wrenching. It can leave our heads spinning and our hearts sinking.
If you are anything like I am, you are wondering how it is even possible that a man can change his mind so easily.
Well, men are not the same as women.
The male mind operates differently when it comes to love, and if we can accept and respect this fact, we can better understand what he is thinking and achieve the successful relationships that we want.
I want to discuss an aspect of the male mind and this is with regard to how he views your approval.
A man wants to work to gain your approval. He wants to have to work to gain your approval by proving that he is man enough for you.
If our excitement towards him grows at the same pace as his excitement towards us grows, he may lose his natural inclination to continue to fight to have you in his life.
His communication with us and his plan-making may become less frequent. You may even notice a change in the pitch of his voice, from high and excited to low and lackadaisical.
My suggestion is not to “try” to act like you are not giving him approval; simply take your time to get to know this man to see if he is really all he seems. When we are excited, we can give our approval too soon, and end up with a bruised heart.
What does it look like when a man has our approval too soon?
1) Cutting our options. Because he is showing excitement, we feel guilty about seeing other men. One of the most powerful things we can do in early relationship is to keep our options open. This keeps our vibe fun and airy without creating a laser focus; this feels icky to him (and us!).
2) We move at his pace. When a man is feeling excited about us he may want to make a lot of plans. We may agree and see him more than once a week regularly. It’s impossible to keep our minds open to other energies when we are spending this much time with a man. Also, it tells him, “I approve!”
3) Constant communication. When a man is excited about us he may want to stay in constant communication with various texts throughout the day. It is our job to slow down the communication process. We need to show him that wecannot be reached all the time for chatter – this type of behavior tells him that we approve of him and also that we are ready, right now, to give valuable time to him, before he has shown that he is invested in us
When a man is excited he may drive the relationship at an accelerated pace and then ram it into a brick wall. It is our job to slow things down and move at a pace that benefits us and our needs.
We are looking for a marathon and not a sprint.
The more effort he must put into getting to know you, the higher of a pedestal he will put you on for the remainder of the relationship, which could be the remainder of your life!
Take your time and do not rush things. Make sure that this guy is worth your valuable time before rushing into a new relationship.
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